So, back to Monday...The extra time I put into the gym over the weekend evidently kept me from putting clothes into the washer because all the workout clothes I was looking for were in the dirty clothes. My options are more limited these days. I'm happy that a lot of my workout wear is getting too big, but replacing it is expensive and hasn't quite made it to the top of my to-do list. Ordinarily I'd just pull on whatever still fits and get moving but I was planning on doing a Yoga Sculpt class. It's a new class I just started a month or so ago and I love it...or love to hate it, I'm not really sure. Basically it is sixty minutes of yoga in a 100 degree room with hand weights and three very intense bursts of cardio. During those bursts, I'm quite sure I may fall over dead at any second, but thankfully just when I think that moment has arrived, the burst is over. Since it is so dang hot in that yoga studio what you wear really does matter. I ended up in a pair of long, loose yoga pants which was basically the worst thing possible since they weigh ten pounds by the time you've sweated the kind of drenching sweat this class creates. So...I was off to a bad start.
After finally finding pants to wear, I got the girls in the car and listened to my older daughter give a full narration on who she would see at the gym today. She is always ready to go to the gym. In fact, she is usually my biggest cheerleader. I had already planned on getting in a short run, maybe a mile, before class so we headed out about a half hour before yoga started. Last week I ran a mile before class and felt like being a little more warmed up help me acclimate to the heat a little better and in that class I need all the help I can get.
We are lucky to belong to a gym that has really great childcare...like an indoor climbing maze, basketball courts and a staff that actually takes time to learn the kid's names and greet them personally. She loves going to play with her "gym friends" and today was no exception. When we got there I put the baby in the nursery and walked my older daughter to the basketball court where all the older kids were playing. I scanned the court and realized we were the first of her little group to get there, but usually that's not a big deal. I opened that gate to let her in and BAM. The switch flipped. She was a clinging, teary-eyed mess. It just wasn't like her. I got down on her level and looked her in the eye. She had huge tears welling up threatening to spill over at any second, but she couldn't tell me what was wrong. That's also not like her...this girl is never at a loss for words. She finally came up with, "I think I just feel a little tired." She looked down at her shoes and when she looked up her eyes finally overflowed and my heart sank. I wanted to cry too when I looked at her sad little face.
In the past I've been able to simply step out of sight and she moves right on. It was worth a try. One of the teachers tried to give her a little hug to distract her as I stepped out, but she erupted into full on hysterics and I knew it was time to go. As we headed toward the nursery to get the baby, one of the nursery staff stepped out of the room and saw us. She calmly talked to us and asked if maybe a few minutes in the nursery with little sister would make her feel better. Thankfully, she agreed that it would. I handed her over and stood outside the door waiting for tears, but thankfully none came. I left the childcare area fully expecting a phone call that she needed me and that my workout would be short today. By then I think I was actually hoping for that call. Those moments in the basketball area had drained me and left my heart heavy. I have always felt that choosing a healthy lifestyle is as much mental as it is physical and my mind was checking out for the day.
I walked to the locker room and contemplated quitting before I even got started, but after making it through that scene in childcare I knew I had to do something to make this trip worthwhile. I headed up stairs to the track, turned on my music and stop watch and started to run. The first mile went by surprisingly fast. As I was finishing my sister called. I knew I should stop if I was going to do that class, but as I listened to her talk I kept on running. Whoops.
When I got into the yoga studio class was just about to start and it was HOT. We weren't even through the warmup and I already knew I felt off. I moved into my first downward dog and something weird happened. As I moved into the pose with my head hanging upside down, I tried to swallow. You know, like you do 10,000 times a day. Except when I did, it was like gravity took over and it went to my sinuses instead of my throat. I could literally feel an air bubble or whatever it was traveling up my sinus cavity toward my eyes...and yes, I'm still hanging upside down in my downward dog pose. It was similar to the sensation you have when you accidentally snort pool water, except searingly painful. I was trying to blink away the pain but even after we stood up I had what I guess I would call a sinus headache. I went on with the class, the sweat dripping and burning my eyes..I was so ready to bolt out of there.
By the third cardio round I had about all I could take. As we squat jumped and burpee'ed our way through that burst I was suddenly so light-headed that I could only think one thought. I had to get out of that heat ASAP. Out in the hallway the relief wasn't instantaneous, but I could feel my pulse slowing down and I had, thankfully, lost that panicked feeling. As much as I shouldn't have, I felt a little better that two other folks had to take a breather the same time I did. I know, shame on me. I headed back in knowing the class was nearly over and felt like it would be a shame to quit with only a few minutes left. Class ended and as I tugged my saggy, soaking-wet pants up for the thousandth time, I realized I did feel better for having made it through. I didn't quit even when I really wanted to.
By the time I went to collect the kiddos, it seemed like the incident from earlier was long forgotten. I asked her if she'd had fun and she gave me a resounding "Yes!" and asked if we'd be back tomorrow. The answer was actually no, since momma needs a rest day and some fresh hair color, but I was relieved that she was over whatever had made her so sad earlier.
The rest of the afternoon was pretty smooth, but after dinner my sweet tooth kicked into overdrive and I knew I was going to eat something, so it might as well be fun for everyone. We headed down the the street to our favorite little frozen yogurt shop and had dessert. While we were there I decided to bite the bullet and find out how may calories I was really eating. I was pretty pumped when I found out the no-sugar-added vanilla I usually eat only has 80 calories per 3oz. I had it topped with fresh strawberries and blueberries, so all in all, not too bad as far as dessert goes. It hit the spot and I'm pretty certain after that yoga hell I endured earlier, I earned that fro-yo!
What I try to remember on days like yesterday is that everyone has an off day. You can choose to push through it or you can choose to start fresh tomorrow, but you can't choose to give up. There is some quote out there about how 80% of being successful is just showing up. Sometimes it only takes something as tiny as putting on your tennis shoes to spur you on to a good workout. The longer you sit on the couch and think about the other things you could do instead, the further you will be from your goals and the more overwhelmed you will feel. Everyday that you feed your body what it needs and get moving is a day to be proud of. Progress takes time, but the workout you do today will show one day soon. It took me months to get to a point where I could look in the mirror and see things changing, but I could feel them long before that. Give it time. Be kind to yourself. Think happy thoughts. And when you need motivation, lace up your shoes and get moving---even if it's only for five minutes. My guess is that once you get started, you'll finish and feel better for having stuck to your plan.
Sometimes it just takes a little reminder of what you've accomplished. Here is the picture that keeps me going right now. What a difference a year makes...
Got questions? Comments? Let me know...I'd love to hear from you!
Thanks for sharing! You look amazing! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Connie!
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